Super long entry of self-reflection... why do I like this kind of stuff?

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Career Inventory Test Results Extroversion ||||||||| 30% Emotional Stability ||||||||||||||| 50% Orderliness ||||||||||||||| 43% Altruism |||||||||||| 33% Inquisitiveness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 80% You are an Architect, possible professions include - strategic planning, writer, staff development, lawyer, architect, software designer, financial analyst, college professor, photographer, logician, artist, systems analyst, neurologist, physicist, psychologist, research/development specialist, computer programmer, data base manager, chemist, biologist, investigator.

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I think I was right in calling myself "Architect of Metaphors".

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||| 38% Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 62% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||| 78% Antisocial |||||||||| 34% Borderline |||||||||||| 50% Histrionic |||||||||||| 46% Narcissistic |||||||||||||| 54% Avoidant |||||||||||| 42% Dependent |||||||||||| 42% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||| 50%

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I guess this means I'm strange, but I already know that. I must be bored ROFL.

Maslow Inventory Results

Physiological Needs (10%) you appear to have everything you need to survive physically. Safety Needs (37%) you appear to have a very secure environment. Love Needs (54%) you appear to be semi-content with the quality of your social connections. Esteem Needs (50%) you appear to have a medium level of skill competence. Self-Actualization (55%) you appear to have an average level of individual development.

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Hmmm, this one doesn't tell me very much that I don't know already... the Free Advanced Big 45 Personality Test has more info, it seems. I ordered my tendencies from most to least...

Factor		my score		low score		high score
Introspection		90%		not self-reflective		self-searching
Intellect		86%		instinctive, non-analytical		intellectual, analytical
Depth		86%		lacks curiosity		mental explorer
Mental Self-Sufficiency		82%		intellectually dependent		intellectually independent
Imagination		82%		practical, realistic		dreamer, unrealistic
Cooperation		82%		competitive, war-like		agreeable, peaceful
Mental Agility		78%		slow to understand		brainy
Reflection		74%		unreflective, coarse		lover of art and beauty
Organization		74%		relaxed, oblivious		detail-oriented, anal
Creativity		70%		dull-headed		synthesizer, iconoclast
Conscientiousness		70%		reckless, unscheduled		careful planner
Understanding		70%		insensitive, schizoid		respectful, sympathetic
Empathy		66%		out of tune with others		in tune with others
Ingenuity		62%		lacks new ideas		innovative, novel
Morality		62%		break/ignore the rules		play by the rules
Pleasantness		62%		aloof or disagreeable		gets along with others
Efficiency		62%		unreliable, lazy		finisher, follows through
Impulse Control		62%		lacks self-control		maintains composure
Imperturbability		62%		highly emotional		emotionally contained
Forcefulness		62%		demanding, controlling		accommodating
Cautiousness		62%		impulsive		restrained
Dutifulness		58%		leisurely, derelict		strict, rule-abiding
Purposefulness		58%		inattentive, undisciplined		prepared, focused
Warmth		54%		disinterested in others		supportive, helpful
Rationality		54%		irrational, random		direct, logical
Sympathy		54%		socially inconsiderate		socially conscious
Stability		54%		easily frustrated		calm, cool
Moderation		54%		needs instant gratification		delays instant gratification
Happiness		50%		unhappy, dissatisfied		self content, positive
Calmness		50%		touchy, volatile		even tempered, tolerant
Perfectionism		50%		careless, error-prone		detail-obsessed
Tenderness		50%		cold-hearted, selfish		warm-heated, selfless
Assertiveness		46%		timid, gun-shy		controlling, aggressive
Leadership		46%		stays in background		prefers to lead
Provocativeness		46%		modest, plays it safe		bold, uninhibited, cocky
Planning		46%		disorganized, random		deliberate, clean
Nurturance		42%		self-pleasing		people-pleasing
Toughness		42%		hypersensitive, moody		thick-skinned
Sociability		38%		withdrawn, hidden		open, inviting
Self-Disclosure		38%		private, contained		open, revealing
Tranquility		38%		emotionally volatile		emotionally neutral
Poise		34%		uneasy around others		socially comfortable
Gregariousness		26%		quiet, reclusive		engaging, socially bold
Group Attachment		26%		loves solitude		prefers to be with others
Talkativeness		22%		quiet, invisible		motor-mouth

When I'm in a good mood, I'm INfj, and when I'm in a bad mood, I'm Intj. Upper cases are stronger tendencies. The most important message from the Play class I took (that I don't think gets emphasized enough) is that people should align their play-state with their work-state as much as possible. I wonder what that means in my case...

The Singularity is near!

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And no, the NEMSSS seminar today did not involve giant Madagascar cockroaches. It did involve cybborrg beettles, complete with implanted chips inserted during pupal stage.

The chip talks to the remote control and stimulates muscles that pull on the exoskeleton that creates a mechanical resonance to flap the wings. With directional control by individual pulse train stimulation on left vs. right wing. The speaker was a former student of my PI. He was very energetic like a boy with his favorite toy.

He was also very eager to discuss the ethical issues about controlling beetles, etc. I think that he's only interested in it as an intellectual debate. N from my group thinks that if it were our PI, he would be more inclined toward the "don't hurt the beetles because it causes pain" side.

The study is basically funded by DARPA. Surprise surprise!

Random thoughts

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(1) Healthful food is very important. I feel my brain power increase by 30% when I have such food vs. when I don't. The local farmer's market is awesome.

(2) I should remember to listen to certain music when I'm angsty, rather than defaulting to TV shows. Although for me, watching TV is a response to events in life, and the kind of TV shows I watch is highly correlated with the kind of event that has occurred.

(3) I'm sketching again. I wonder if that's good... I mean, TV show fandom :-P

(4) I need to feel extreme angst or extreme ecstasy in order to be able to write inspired poetry. This is of course conditioned on my ability to be coherent, with attention span longer than about 30 minutes at a time. (I like this poem. I like most poems by this poet, actually.)

(5) The reader can probably tell that my research has been stagnating.