Thursday, April 30, 2009

Inquiries into the nature of humanity

- - -

Exhibit A: Email from the Associate Housemaster -

1) [Insert nearby supermarket name] shopping carts should not be stored on [dorm name] property. Please return all shopping carts to [Supermarket name] after use.

2) Unfortunately, the coffee cart at [dorm name] in the North Wing had to be discontinued due to theft of coffee money and coffee. We are in discussions with [the cafe on the first floor] to restart with better security and hopefully in a better location, i.e, the lobby.

Exhibit B: Email from the campus police -

On Wednesday, April 29, 2009 at approximately 8:00 a.m., a female was the victim of an assault by a dangerous weapon (knife) on [street] across from [street]. The victim is an employee of [school] and was walking towards work.

The victim describes the suspect as follows: male, white, forties, medium build, 5'7" - 5'9", wearing a red t-shirt, jeans, and dirty white sneakers. He was also wearing a black baseball hat with some kind of lettering on the front, big dark sunglasses with thick rims. The victim stated the suspect had a friendly voice, with no accent.

The victim was walking along [street] when the suspect said "hey". The victim responded "yes" when the suspect then asked "are you a nurse or a doctor?" The victim asked the suspect if he needed help at which time the suspect pulled out an 8" to 10" kitchen knife from his right rear pocket. The suspect then said if you were a doctor I would have stabbed you, I hate all doctors' and nurses. State, [town] and campus police searched the area looking for the suspect.

On Thursday, April 30, 2009 at approximately 12:45 a.m., a suspicious male followed a female from the area of the Student Center to [dorm]. The suspect did not say anything or do anything to the victim.

The victim describes the suspect as follows: male, white, medium build, brownish or blondish hair, worn in a ponytail that was past shoulder length. He was approximately 5'9" tall and wore a windbreaker jacket with stripes on the arms, wearing jeans.

The victim was walking along [street] and when she picked up her pace the suspect did too.
The victim states she purposelessly looked back at the suspect and last saw him after passing [street] at [street].

On April 12, 2009 there were two armed street robberies reported in the [local mall] neighborhood.

The first occurred on [street] around 10:00pm. A male victim of mid-twenties was approached from behind, a handgun was placed to his back, and he was robbed of his iPod and wallet.

The second incident took place 5 minutes later at the corner of [street] and [street]. A male victim mid-twenties was robbed in a similar fashion and robbed of his camera equipment.

The [town] police believe that it was the same suspect involved in both of these incidents. Suspect is described as a 25 year old black male, 6ft, medium to stocky build, wearing a hooded camouflage jacket (army green) and baggy dark blue jeans.

There have been no incidents similar to these incidents in [area] in recent months.

* * * * * * * *

Granted, these might be isolated incidents, but on a larger scale, kids who learn how to lie and cheat and get away with it tend get into better colleges and become "more successful" in life. And then they will probably end up like Bernie Madoff sooner or later.

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